Anyone, anywhere, can be a long-distance caregiver, no matter your gender, income, age, social status or employment. You’re probably a long-distance caregiver if you live an hour or more away from someone who needs your help. Anyone caring for an aging friend, relative or parent from afar can be considered a long-distance caregiver.
What can a caregiver really do from afar?
Long-distance caregivers take on different roles. You may:
Help with finances, money management or bill paying
Arrange for in-home care, hire professional caregivers or home health or nursing aides and help get needed durable medical equipment
Locate care in an assisted living facility or nursing home (also known as a skilled nursing facility)
Provide emotional support and occasional respite care for a primary caregiver, the person who takes on most of the everyday caregiving responsibilities
Serve as an information coordinator–research health problems or medicines, help navigate through a maze of new needs and clarify insurance benefits and claims
Keep family and friends updated and informed
Create a plan and get the paperwork in order in case of an emergency
Evaluate the house and make sure it’s safe for the older person’s needs
Over time, as your family member’s needs change, so will your role as a long-distance caregiver.
First steps for new long-distance caregivers
To get started:
Ask the primary caregiver, if there is one, and the care recipient how you can be most helpful
Talk to friends who are caregivers to see if they have suggestions about ways to help
Find out more about local resources that might be useful
Develop a good understanding of the person’s health issues and other needs
Visit as often as you can; not only might you notice something that needs to be done and can be taken care of from a distance, but you can also relieve a primary caregiver for a short time
Most people don’t automatically have many caregiver skills. Information about training opportunities is available. Some local chapters of the American Red Cross might offer courses, as do some nonprofit organizations focused on caregiving. Medicare and Medicaid will sometimes pay for this training.
What do caregivers need to know about their family member’s health?
Learn as much as you can about your family member’s condition and any treatment. Doing so can help you understand what is going on, anticipate the course of an illness, prevent crises and assist in health care management. It can also make talking with the doctor easier.
Get written permission to receive medical and financial information as needed under the HIPAA Privacy Rule. With permission, the family member should talk with all healthcare providers to the extent possible. Try putting together a notebook, on paper or online, that includes all the vital information about medical care, social services, contact numbers, financial issues, etc. Make copies for other caregivers and keep them up-to-date.
Making the most out of visits with aging parents or relatives
Talk to the care recipient beforehand and find out what they would like to do during your visit. Also, check with the primary caregiver, if appropriate, to learn what they need, such as handling some caregiving responsibilities while you are in town. This may help you set clear-cut and realistic goals for the visit. Decide on the priorities and leave other tasks to another visit.
Remember to spend time visiting with your family member. Try to make time to do things unrelated to being a caregiver, like watching a movie, playing a game or taking a drive. Finding time to do something simple and relaxing can help everyone–it can be fun and build family memories. And try to let outside distractions wait until you are home again.
How can I stay connected with an aging parent or relative from far away?
Try to find people who live near your loved one who can provide a realistic view of what is happening. A social worker may be able to provide updates and help with making decisions. Many families schedule conference calls with doctors, the assisted living facility team or nursing home staff so that several relatives can be in one conversation and get the same up-to-date information about health and progress.
Don’t underestimate the value of a phone and email contact list. It is a simple way to keep everyone updated on your loved one’s needs.
You may also want to give the person you care for a cell phone (and ensure they know how to use it). Or, if your family member lives in a nursing home, consider having a private phone line installed in his or her room. Program telephone numbers of doctors, friends, family members and yourself into the phone. Such simple strategies can be a lifeline. But try to be prepared should you be inundated with calls from your loved one.